Hello, my name is Kelly. Serial dater and serial monogamist. I like to think I’m a catch, but I’ve been proven wrong before! Got out of an LTR at the beginning of 2011, somehow put the pieces back together (it took a couple of months) and jumped into the dating world with both feet. My theory at first was to just say “yes” to every guy that asked me out, minus the obvious creepers/men missing teeth/mama’s boys/etc. If you’re recently single and reading this, I recommend that tactic. Can’t say it’s the right way to go, but it worked for me. I’m no longer afraid of dating.*
For the last four months or so, I’ve dated pretty much emotionlessly. I’m pretty sure that’s not good, but maybe it’s a survival mechanism? Who knows. Hi, please date me, I’m a robot? Sexy. Anywho, just to bring you up to speed, here’s an overview of the bad dates (gentlemen, take notes):
1) The Pothead/Poet/Athiest (All rolled into one person.)
2) The Man Who Smelled Like Sharp Cheddar Cheese (Trident, much?!)
3) The Face Rapist (Pinned against my own car, against my will. FAIL.)
4) The Spanker (Eight times. On the first date. In a parking lot. Sad part is, I went out with him again. And in case you were wondering, yes, he did spank again.)
5) The Liar (For example: “I’m not a smoker, I just carry cigarettes.”)
So why start a blog and put it ALL out there? One, why the hell not? I live my life like an open book (except for with my parents, who I try to shelter, ha). Two, maybe you’ll enjoy a laugh or two. Three, maybe you can learn from my mistakes. And four, maybe I’ll get some constructive feedback. ‘Cause I definitely do not know what I’m doing. (Sidenote: I know how to be an amazing girlfriend. It’s this effed up in between that I’m fumbling my way through.)
The five failures listed above are guys I met out and about. Confession: I joined eHarmony to try to meet more “quality” guys. Jury’s still out on that one. But I figure I’m about to go on a lot more dates and instead of keeping a journal (the grown up word for “diary”), I’ll keep a blog. Hopefully someday I’ll look back and read this and laugh at my own stupidity/naivety/hopelessness and smile. In the meanwhile, buckle up, ‘cause I’m about to date Dallas!
*DISCLAIMER: If you’ve watched Bravo’s “Most Eligible Dallas” let me just say that the life I lead is nothing like that. Please do not expect any “The Bachelorette”-type craziness. I’m relatively normal and down to earth. Keyword: relatively.
